MUNEtiquette

As this is my very first 'Common Sense World Tour' posting, I thought I'd start with the first thing that's on my mind: commuting to work on the San Francisco Municipal Transportation Agency. More specifically, the underground trains (for those of you unclear on the concept, that's the J, K, L, M, N, and T lines).

Here are a few tips to make your trip - and your fellow riders - more enjoyable:

1.) When boarding the train, MOVE ALL THE WAY into the train. Don't hang out by the doors. People still need to get in and out. I can't even tell you how many times I've had to shove past fellow riders to get to the empty space in the aisles because everyone crowds the doors. And if I have to shove past you, DON'T SHOVE BACK -- MOVE-! I'm not being rude, you are-!

2.) When underground, there is no reason why you need to pull the stop cord. The trains AUTOMATICALLY stop at Forest Hill, Castro, Church, Van Ness, Powell, Montgomery and Embarcadero stations. If a train skips one of these stations and breezes right thru to the next, I'LL PAY YOUR NEXT MUNI FARE-!!!

3.) It is considered proper etiquette to take your backpacks off when boarding the train. The last thing fellow riders (a.k.a. ME) want is to be smacked in the head or about the facial region by your big, bulky, heavy, filled-with-SF-Public-Library books backpack. Or satchel. Or messenger bag. Take it off and hold it down near the floor.

4.) When exiting the train, the right side of the esca-ma-lator is for folks who are in no hurry and want to saunter up to the street level. The left side is for folks who are in more of a hurry. Don't mix the two.

5.) While we're on the subject, when walking on the sidewalk, ALWAYS WALK TO THE RIGHT. This is especially important when you are turning a corner. If everyone walks to the left, there'll be collisions. And don't get all control freak on me and NOT move when you're walking on the left side. I'll bump into you.

In closing, it's not that I'm not a people person, it's that I'm not a stupid people person.