We're Gonna Smoke 'em Out

Cigarettes. You're, all, 'Oh, God -- I knew THIS ONE was coming.'

I used to smoke. I wasn't a chain-smoker by any means. But after 1 or 2 or 13 cocktails, a cigarette always seemed to make it's way between my fingertips - like that teleportation sound on "Bewitched."

Since taking up running, cigarettes were the first thing to go. Make that the second. The first thing to go was the size XL clothes. Honestly. I hid my size well.

That being said, I honestly don't mind the smoke all that much. the only time it really, really bothers me is when I'm eating or when I'm walking BEHIND a smoker. I hate that. And, yes, I will run ahead of you like a lunatic so that your smoke trail doesn't make me cough up a lung.

But smoking IS a nasty habit. Ask anyone. And don't get all defensive because you, smoker, are the FIRST one to admit - when confronted by a friend or family member, or just you and me talkin' - that you wish you could quit.

I once sat @ Yerba Buena Gardens to eat my lunch an this goth chick sat down right next to me, lit up and started blowing that smoke right into my face.

When I axed her - very nicely, mind you (I always ask nicely-!) - to put it out, she stuck out her pierced, black lipstick'd lips and snarled, "You can move."

I said, "Yes, that would be lovely EXCEPT THAT I WAS HERE FIRST-!"

Honestly, I wanted to snatch that ugly think out of her mouth and stomp on it. In fact, I almost did. But there's nothing more embarrassing than being arrested by a public park rent-a-cop.

Instead I turned away from her mumbling about Exene and "The Decline of the Western Civilization" and how no one has any manners anymore and other stuff way over her head.

How come even when you ask people nicely to put out their cigarette or move away from you when they're smoking they get SO angry? What is it about the... entitlement people feel about smoking? Is it 'cause they KNOW it's bad for them? Is it because they KNOW it causes cancer, etc...? Guilt? Wow-! If it makes you feel guilty... and you bite someone's head off for asking... maybe it's not so good for you after all-!?!

It would be one thing if the smoke was contained to just the person smoking. But it's not. Note to self: invent self-contained smoker suit so only the smoker has to endure the smoke from their own filthy habit.

Next time someone asks you to put your cigarette out or at least to move away from them a bit, don't get all defensive and nasty. Just do it. And when you say to yourself or a friend 'I REALLY need to quit,' do that, too. I'll help-! Every time you want to smoke I'll... hand ya a "Jolly Rancher." I heard that works. But do it. You'll feel better.