I often feel hatred with the intensity of 37 million white-hot suns lined up next to each other when some stranger takes it upon him or herself to stand directly in front of me... in a line for something, on the platform as I wait for a train, when I'm on the train, etc...
Just the sight of the back of their heads makes me see red.
Honestly, I can't explain it. They could be perfectly good-looking in their own, ignorant way. I'm not gonna say it's rational and I'm not
gonna say it's even very nice. It's just an honest confession about how I feel when it happens.
Usually when I get on a train, I stand in the doorway opposite the doors that open to let people in and out. And only when there isn't an empty seat facing forward (facing the direction the train is going; I get kinda motion sick if I'm facing backwards).
And during rush hour, instead of folks moving into the empty area in the middle of the aisles, inevitably some tool will stand in the doorway directly in front of me - even when there IS plenty of room inside the train. And FYI, there's usually another tool standing in the doorway where people DO need to get in and out as well.
This person will stand directly in front of me - with his or her back to me - and it sends instant shocks of hatred for them into my brain. And they'll keep their backpack on which will bump me every time the train hit a bump... More hatred.
Usually it's an unkempt, barely brushed head... or a sweaty balding head... or a head of hair in a pony tail that needs to be re-tied/tightened 'cause the hair's coming loose... or a head whose hair is badly or unevenly cut...
One heavy guy was so exhausted from his walk from his office to the train I was on that when he stood in front of me, he wiped, wiped, wiped the sweat off the back of his neck with a kerchief every, like 5 seconds - right in front of me-!?! WHO sweats that much?!?
God, I hated him.
Then there's people who clearly see that I'm waiting to get on the train and will stand right in front of me as the train pulls up to get on first. Whatever happened to queuing up?
I hate the back of their heads, too.
I guess what I hate more than the fact that it's their head that I hate, I think it's the fact that there's this attitude of... entitlement... that comes with the back of their head in my space.
It's that same entitlement that allows them to open up their newspaper on a crowded train and read - even if the newspaper is right in other people's faces. People seem to think that there are no other people on this planet besides them.
Everyone's in a hurry; everyone's only ever thinking about themselves and it drives me nuts. Acknowledge the people around you. Be courteous and be polite. And don't stick the back of your head in my face.